Neither a borrower nor a lender be!
Polonius was dead right when he said:
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
And I’m sure he was talking about books when he said that! I have come to the conclusion that there are only a few people in this world you can lend anything to; the rest will borrow whatever takes their fancy, promise faithfully to return it as soon as possible and that is the last you’ll ever see of it.
I’ve taken to writing my name in all my books in the hopes that they will find their way back to their rightful owner eventually but it goes against the grain. A book that is written on, marked, underlined, or otherwise defaced is spoilt for me. It’s almost worse that the top corner of a page being folded over to mark your place. That, in my lexicon of sins, is mortal, not easily forgiven.
One dear friend asked if I’d like to look through some books she was giving to Oxfam only to discover two of my own in the pile. She didn’t seem at all worried at this ghastly discovery, blithely shrugging her shoulders, smiling warmly at me, glad I’d found something worth keeping.
Another, who is no longer on my Christmas card list, begged to borrow a biography of my paternal grandfather (politician, trade unionist, musician, failed priest, keeper of bees), a treasured possession even if I had failed to plough through all of the 345 densely packed pages. Month after month I waited for it to come back. A year passed and nearly two when she finally handed it to me saying, “keep it as long as you like”. What??? I looked inside where I had written my name, and there, under the black line through my nom de guerre, was HER name. It took some time for me to calm down, it took some time for me to tell her – politely – that in fact it was MY book, and that I had lent it to her. Grrrrrr!
Polonius has been described variously as, ”a busy-body, officious, garrulous and impertinent” but in the matter of borrowing and lending, he and I are as one.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be,
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
And I’m sure he was talking about books when he said that! I have come to the conclusion that there are only a few people in this world you can lend anything to; the rest will borrow whatever takes their fancy, promise faithfully to return it as soon as possible and that is the last you’ll ever see of it.
I’ve taken to writing my name in all my books in the hopes that they will find their way back to their rightful owner eventually but it goes against the grain. A book that is written on, marked, underlined, or otherwise defaced is spoilt for me. It’s almost worse that the top corner of a page being folded over to mark your place. That, in my lexicon of sins, is mortal, not easily forgiven.
One dear friend asked if I’d like to look through some books she was giving to Oxfam only to discover two of my own in the pile. She didn’t seem at all worried at this ghastly discovery, blithely shrugging her shoulders, smiling warmly at me, glad I’d found something worth keeping.
Another, who is no longer on my Christmas card list, begged to borrow a biography of my paternal grandfather (politician, trade unionist, musician, failed priest, keeper of bees), a treasured possession even if I had failed to plough through all of the 345 densely packed pages. Month after month I waited for it to come back. A year passed and nearly two when she finally handed it to me saying, “keep it as long as you like”. What??? I looked inside where I had written my name, and there, under the black line through my nom de guerre, was HER name. It took some time for me to calm down, it took some time for me to tell her – politely – that in fact it was MY book, and that I had lent it to her. Grrrrrr!Polonius has been described variously as, ”a busy-body, officious, garrulous and impertinent” but in the matter of borrowing and lending, he and I are as one.
Labels: borrowing books, lending book, Polonius
5 Comments:
Hey there! While I agree overall on the dangers faced by a lender of books by unscrupulous borrowers, I have to disagree on the matter of books doodled, underlined, annotated and otherwise graffitied. I really love getting a book that someone has written in, or underlined their favourite parts. It's almost like you're talking to the person. I confess to being a shameless defacer myself. But yes, folded down corners are criminal.
Perhaps I was a bit harsh, but standards have to be set! I may find release in underlining a favourite sentence 'cause I spend forevor trying to find it again when I've finished. I love that, when you read a line and have to read it again it's so good. Mary B.
I am SO with you! I can't begin to tell you how many books I've lost that way. Hellllo??? Books are expensive. Some books are treasures. I am extremely cautious to whom I loan my books. Some will never be loaned under any circumstances. If someone wants to read it that badly, a) "Ever heard of the library?" and b) I do myself the favor and buy them their own copy. They're not getting mine! I do share books with my sister because she's an avid reader and as careful with them as I am, but I still keep a list of what she takes, and I check them off the list when she returns them.
If my book is a textbook, I don't mind making notes and highlighting, etc. I have one in particular with copious notes, color-coded highlighting, flagged with sticky notes, pointing arrows, etc. The author seemed very pleased when I presented it to him to be autographed a dozen years after I'd bought it.
If it's fiction, it stays pristine.
And I wouldn't dream of making any kind of mark in a book that belongs to someone else! How rude. I don't even munch when reading someone else's book, so that I don't leave sticky or greasy fingerprints or smudges anywhere.
Now I sound a bit obsessive, don't I?
If you like your books to remain immaculate as well, treat yourself to a trip to an office supply store where you can order a custom paper press like the seal that notary publics use. It can say "This book belongs to [your name]" or whatever you like. Then you can press your identification into every page if you want, without ever marking up the book.
What I hate the most is lending a book, it not being returned and not being able to remember who I have lent it to.
Just sold a book to a man who had loaned out the same book over thirty years ago but had never got it back as the woman had died and he hadn't had the heart to ask her children to look for it.
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