The Games People Play
Friendships break up all the time: arguing children in school, siblings and parents, teenage love affairs, adult relationships turning to separations and divorce. No one is spared the inevitable fall out: the ripple effect spreads, the shit hits the fan and everyone is marked in some way.
When Ken and Marjorie decided to go their separate ways, Pauline was stuck in the middle, a friendship with both made awkward by the split, but maintained nonetheless. She’d spend hours talking to Ken, counselling him through his grief, keeping him on an even keel. With Marjorie, there was some slight tension, some jealousy of the time her friend spent with her ex other half.
Ken gave Pauline his copy of The Games People Play by Dr Eric Berne, a wise
and witty look at those complex games that people play in order to cope with the hand they’ve been dealt. Marjorie, never a reader herself, would have been surprised to find those little tricks up her sleeve were all in the eminently sensible analysis by Dr Berne, even as she was hardly aware of what she was doing. But time heals all wounds, or so they say. Years later, after all the fuss had died down and everyone had got on with their lives, Pauline still remained a true friend to both Ken and Marjorie. But it rankled, it irritated and gnawed at Marjorie: "I would have liked that book, you know, the one Ken gave you, actually, it was the only book I ever wanted.”
Without a trace of resentment, Pauline offered it to her: “Please take it, I can get myself another copy, easily.” But no, Marjorie didn’t really want it now. She just didn’t want anyone else to have it either, especially not Pauline. After all, why would Ken have given it to her? It wasn’t right, no, it just wasn’t; it didn’t make sense. Perhaps, had she read the book, something might have clicked but then again, perhaps not.
When Ken and Marjorie decided to go their separate ways, Pauline was stuck in the middle, a friendship with both made awkward by the split, but maintained nonetheless. She’d spend hours talking to Ken, counselling him through his grief, keeping him on an even keel. With Marjorie, there was some slight tension, some jealousy of the time her friend spent with her ex other half.
Ken gave Pauline his copy of The Games People Play by Dr Eric Berne, a wise
and witty look at those complex games that people play in order to cope with the hand they’ve been dealt. Marjorie, never a reader herself, would have been surprised to find those little tricks up her sleeve were all in the eminently sensible analysis by Dr Berne, even as she was hardly aware of what she was doing. But time heals all wounds, or so they say. Years later, after all the fuss had died down and everyone had got on with their lives, Pauline still remained a true friend to both Ken and Marjorie. But it rankled, it irritated and gnawed at Marjorie: "I would have liked that book, you know, the one Ken gave you, actually, it was the only book I ever wanted.” Without a trace of resentment, Pauline offered it to her: “Please take it, I can get myself another copy, easily.” But no, Marjorie didn’t really want it now. She just didn’t want anyone else to have it either, especially not Pauline. After all, why would Ken have given it to her? It wasn’t right, no, it just wasn’t; it didn’t make sense. Perhaps, had she read the book, something might have clicked but then again, perhaps not.
Labels: Eric Berne, The Games People Play
2 Comments:
I'll have to check that out. I wonder if there's anything in there that covers my situation. I lost my best friend of 30 years when she read the memoir I wrote of our youth -- the one for which she gave me her memories. And secrets. And permission to use them. In the end, she said it was too real, that I absolutely could not publish it, then never spoke to me again. I miss her so much.
Having also lost a friend of long standing myself, I have no answers. Perhaps we should both read the book!
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